Master of My Domain

Master of My Domain

Mood: Frisky!

There are advantages and disadvantages to every lifestyle choice. For me, being married to a shitty ass man wasn’t working anymore. Go figure. So I jumped in feet first and now 10 months later (yes 10 months) I am living as a semi-single bachelorette. 

I say semi-single for a couple of reasons. The first being that I’m still not divorce from said shitty ass man and am frustrated with the legalities. If I let it, it would eat me alive! The second reason is that the kids are with me nearly 70% of the time. That means that when I have time to myself, I take full advantage. It’s actually kind of cool getting a scheduled break from being a mom. I’ve never had that before and although I miss the kids desperately sometimes it is a welcome break from being a full time, stay at home mom. And no, it’s not nearly as easy as it looks!

When I do have some “me” time I have learned to use it in several different ways. On occasion I turn off the phone, computer, TV, everything and just meditate. Sometime I spend time with my stud. As much time as I possibly can when he’s available. Occasionally I just get caught up on bullshit tasks that go uncared for during the times when the kids are around.

I have found one very interesting advantage to my semi-single status...I get to be “intimate” with myself in a way I never have before. 14 years of being in a non-sexual relationship with an emotionally unavailable man left a void. A really deep void! Granted, that void is well cared for by a wonderfully skilled lover but I needed something more. I needed to figure out what I liked. Before my marriage I experimented and was open to new and different experiences. But once I met fucktard, all of that went out the window, including exploring my own likes and dislikes.

Now I feel like I’m rediscovering my body. I’ve talked about it before but this whole process has been somewhat of a sexual reawakening for me. What I didn’t anticipate was that I didn’t just reawaken but I am discovering new and wonderful possibilities in the realm of carnal pleasure. It’s wild to suddenly discover that you like to be touched in a new way, in a new place. I can literally wake up in the middle of the night from some wild sex-capade dream and take advantage of myself. It’s fucking kick-ass and a hell of a lot of fun exploring this almost 38 year old body.

What’s even better is that I can take that knowledge into the bedroom and explore it with my sweet man. He’s a quick study. And I’m discovering that my pleasure is much deeper and more satisfying than in my 20’s. I am really, really enjoying this process and plan to play it out as long as possible. I am indeed “master of my domain” in my own way.

Staying married=zero. Being semi-single=priceless!!!