Puzzle Pieces

I hate tough questions. No, not the “What’s the capital of Nebraska?” questions…and please, refrain from showing off if you know the answer. I could make a guess and it might be right but frankly, this Florida girl probably doesn’t remember that chapter of geography class.



I’m talking about the questions we took for granted as children. Namely the “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Simple. Easy. Clear. It was one that we all likely answered time and time again and I would venture to guess that I wasn’t the only one who had a different answer nearly every time it was asked. I remember wanting to be an artist, a prima ballerina, an auto mechanic, a musician, a geologist and an architect. Ambitious, scattered, not at all cohesive as far as a vision goes but it came from my gut. It was the truth. They were all simple, honest, truthful answers to a simple, straightforward question about what I wanted to “do” in my life.


Where along the way did it go from being an easy question to one without an answer? Does it have an answer? What if the answer isn’t what you “think” it should be? As an adult it takes on a new meaning. The reason this discussion came up…and by discussion I mean the one I have with myself on a daily basis…was because I posed a question. The question being for advice in my pursuit of a career in graphic design, specifically what do I need to accomplish in my portfolio to gain attention.


I reached out to three people, all whom I trust and respect. One is my aunt who is a very successful artist and art director. The next is a dear friend who is a designer who specializes in web design and works for a local agency. The final is an old/new friend that I will simply call “chedddar”. Old in that I know him from when I was in middle and high school. New because, thanks to social media, we have reconnected. He’s a culmination of artist, business man, mogul, entrepreneur, you name it, he’s got it.


I received feedback from two of the three people and it was incredibly helpful. But “cheddar” is the only one who asked me a question before giving advice. What is it exactly that I want to do? Where do I see myself going in this “industry” of design and production? Um, Yeah, Um, Wow. This should be an easy thing to answer. I want to design and create. That’s a given. But how will I make it work? Where do I fit into the industry that I have wanted for so long? After all, I did go to college for just that…graphic design.


For weeks now I have been pondering, wondering how I would answer these questions. Who is it that I see myself being over the next few years? What does it look like and where does it take me? I’ve thought long and hard, reaching out to friends and family and looking at their vision of themselves. Looking at myself and where I am right now. What tools do I have and how can I make them work for me. What is the bottom line and how do I define it in a clear logical way…and by logical I mean in any way other than the one I’ve just written here. Geesh, somebody shut me the hell up already.


Finally I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know exactly what I want or who I see myself being in the long run, or even tomorrow for that matter. What I am certain of is that I have something to give creatively. It’s always been a struggle for me to define that creativity, generally living in the day to day creative process in some form or medium but never going in one direction. Scattered is an understatement when I think of ways to describe myself.


I think it’s time to pick up these scattered pieces and put them in the puzzle where they belong. I would normally start with the straight edges and corners first to frame things out but I don’t have any of those pieces. Guess I just have to jump right in the middle then!