march 13th...i'm ready for my straightjacket, please

i'm ready for my straightjacket please
Current mood:  cooky/wacky

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I had the displeasure of confrontation yesterday. Confrontation, drama, theatrics…they just don’t suit my personality. I don’t have time for that shit and won’t make time for that shit. I’m a high energy, have a good time personality. I avoid confrontation, don’t like it, never have but it is unavoidable sometimes, especially during a divorce like mine. Satan is laughing his ass off right now at the debacle that has become my divorce! Shiny red bastard. ....

Yesterday I was insulted and demeaned in front of my five year old son. Fucktard stooped to a new low, even for him. I have come to expect the worst case scenario from Fucktard and once again, he did not disappoint. He called me crazy. He didn’t mean in the zany off the wall sort of way. I generally get that but crazy in the mental institution way, well, not so much. He even went so far as to say that I was bat-shit crazy. He made gestures. He called names. He told me I was certifiably insane and that he hoped I would get help so I could get a grip on reality. All in front of a five year old. Nice form fucktard. Nice form.....

Now I’m no common girl. I have depth. I have character. I have strong opinions. I’m no shrinking violet. I most certainly don’t fit into the cookie cutter shape of a PTA mom. I make mistakes just like anyone. But crazy in a straight jacket sense? Never been called that before. So how do you define crazy? You know how the rest of this goes so without further ado, Miriam-Webster to the rescue once again:....

Main Entry: ¹cra·zy ....

Pronunciation: ..ˈkrā-zē......

Function: adjective ....

1 a : full of cracks or flaws : b : crooked, askew 2 a : mad, insane b (1) : impractical  (2) : erratic c : being out of the ordinary : unusual 3 a : distracted with desire or excitement b : absurdly fond : infatuated c : passionately preoccupied : obsessed ....

Let’s see here. I am most definitely full of cracks and flaws. My personality can be askew but is never hurtfully so, at least not purposely. I can be insane when it’s called for and I’m always impractical. Practicality is far overrated. Erratic…check. Out of the ordinary…double check. I’m unusual and proud of it. Distracted and full of desire, absurdly fond and infatuated….with a certain someone’s cock, yes, yes I am. Passionately preoccupied or obsessed. Abso-fucking-lutely. ....

Looks like I am crazy after all. And you want to know something else? I’m fucking proud of it. I’m not your goddamn Pollyanna. I’m not your girl Friday who shits out rainbows and sunshine. I’m not a sugar coated ball of positivity. I’m a human being who is living her life fully and openly. Finally. My mother told me last night in a wonderful email that it was time for a re-birth and to get rid of the albatross that is fucktard. Incredible example of a woman and I couldn’t agree more. ....

 And I’m a damn fine mother. I have my moments but don’t we all? But crazy to the point that I’m not a good mom or I’m an unfit mother? That’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever heard. My kids love and respect me for my silly spirit.  They love me just the way I am and don’t want me to change. We are all better off away from fucktard and his restrictions. We enjoy our time together and I am anything but a bad mom. Period. ....

Call me crazy if you like. I will take it as a compliment. I am all of the things he has said and then some but a bad mom or someone who needs to get a grip on reality? I’ve got some reality right here for you, you fucking piece of shit. It’s in the form of my boot right up your ass. I like myself a little crazy, a little wacky, a little zany. And I certainly like being away from someone who doesn’t appreciate that part of me. I’m fun that way and I like it. In fact, he seems to be the only one who doesn’t.....