Current mood:
aroused ..............
I’ve had something on my mind recently…sex. That’s right, one of the three taboos that people just “shouldn’t” talk about, with the other two being religion and politics. I’m sure I’ll get to those subjects sooner rather than later though since I like to stir the pot.
I’ve been thinking about how there are so many different levels of sexual consciousness and the fluctuations of the sexual experience as it relates to what’s happening around you. Then again we all have uniquely individual experiences with sex and I think that likely plays a role in our desires as well. But I do believe that sex is part of the integral experience of life. Just as life changes, so do our desires. I’ve found that often our own sexual wants are left last on the list. Somehow we make time to do mundane things and yet we don’t share ourselves with each other. I find the rewards of the human body and its capacity for sexual satisfaction are remarkable!
When it comes to my own experience, well, I am a sexual being. Plain and simple. I’ve tried for many years now to deny that part of me but it’s just simply not the case. From the time I can remember, my libido was that of a teenage boy, not a teenage girl. But I didn’t make it a habit of simply picking some random guy who was packing. I had my standards after all so I never really considered myself a slut or a girl who “got around”. In the same regard, I was in no way depriving myself from exploration and the opportunity for pleasure. As most women would agree, the early experience of sex was not exactly the fireworks show I had expected. In fact it wasn’t until I hit 20 or maybe 21 that I was lucky enough to find a man who could really, truly satisfy a women. That’s when I realized that sex could be all that and a bag o’chips given the right tools and the right man….or the right man with the right tools.
So in my early 20’s I played the field. I had sex with a few different men (all very safely mind you….i’m no dummy) and even added a woman in there to boot. Hey, I had to see what all the fuss was about. Besides, it was a good, kinky memory and I think ultimately it helped me feel more comfortable asking a man for what I really wanted sexually. Anyway, after all was said and done, I started to feel like settling in. I had my share of dirty nights of pleasure. I was ready to settle down with the picket fence and the once a week obligatory nookie. That’s when I met my husband. Sex was not a priority. It simply wasn’t discussed and in no way, shape or form a part of our daily life. I basically married a roommate who would occasionally want to take on the task but couldn’t perform the job. I’ll leave it at that.
Granted, I was bringing some serious baggage into the relationship after having been raped at 21 and never fully dealing with the repercussions. I was looking for someone “safe”. I was looking for someone who didn’t have a lot of need for physical intimacy and he fit the bill. Ding. Check please. So off I went, married, libido in check and put away nicely for another day. I was in wife/mommy/superhuman mode instead. Having babies, thinking of the future, wondering how to be a better parent, creating a perfect little home life and all the while little miss Pussy Galore was sitting quietly in the closet, waiting for her turn. What I didn’t realize was that I put an enormous part of myself in that closet with her and essentially was denying my human nature. It’s who I am and a part of me. A part of me I enjoy.
Well, I’m not ashamed of her anymore. I knew eventually she would wake up and stretch her legs. I just didn’t realize she would be so damn hungry when it happened. My libido is now in overdrive. I could chalk it up to locking her up for so long and ignoring that part of me. Or it could be my middle age female hormones peaking. Then again it could have something to do with my incredibly skilled partner in crime who has awakened my sexual prowess. One way or another, I’m back to enjoying the gratification and find myself completely unapologetic about my wants. I talk about it with my friends, I research new “products” for when my sweet gentlemen caller isn’t available and it has even become fodder for dinner conversation…which generally speeds up the dinner quite nicely.
I have been reawakened and I don’t ever want to go back to sleep…Pussy Galore agrees.
No comments:
Post a Comment