february 11...i only love you once a year

i only love you once a year
Current mood:  romantic

..i only love you once a year. um, thanks, i guess.

that's the message i always get from valentine's day. it's like carrying a "get out of jail free" card the other 364 days out of the year. now i'm not comparing love to jail. don't get me wrong. the genuine real deal love thing is quite possibly the most powerful emotion i've had yet. but seriously folks, what kind of a message does valentine's day send?

i think....since the soapbox is out and has my name blinking in lights above it...that lots of couples use valentine's day as an excuse to neglect each other the remainder of the year. it's a day when men spend ridiculous amounts of money on flowers, candles, lingerie, expensive dinners, lavish gifts, jewelry and spa days. woman fall victim to it too, going out and buying sexy dresses, planning to please their husband with something from "the folder" that night. or perhaps they buy them that nine iron they've been drooling over at the country club. somehow we feel we have to buy these things to show our love for each other. i find the whole thing rather sad and not at all romantic.

well i have a better idea. i know, surprising right? instead of put-zing around all year, acting with little emotion, rarely telling your wife/lover/girlfriend/sex slave what they mean to you, try telling her you love her. tell her you love her and appreciate her for who she is everyday. not just for the gussied up woman who walks out of the bedroom that one night out of the year, ready for a special night that includes shaving her legs and doing some extra "trimming" all so you can have one night of dirty sex because she feels obligated. 

instead try telling her you love her when you come home, find the house a mess, the kids in time out, dinner burned and your wife crying in the corner because she can't do the job of 5 people. tell her you love her when she comes home from the gym, breathless and defeated from that damned eliptical she hasn't touched in 3 years. tell her how much she means to you when you need her the most and when you need her the least. just say it, show it, make sure she knows. i guarantee you that she'll be more willing to try something dirty more than once a year.

now this all sounds pretty sexist since i'm writing an open letter to men but don't misunderstand me. women are just as bad at this whole appreciation thing as men are...i'm just in a man bashing mood. so ladies, remember to tell that man of yours that you love him when he's coming in from mowing the yard, when he gets home from work, tired and worn down. tell him how much he means to you for the little things he does everyday that go unnoticed by other people.

so instead of the silly nonsensical little gifts and such, just tell me i look nice, even when i don't. tell me you love me and make me feel desired, confident, beautiful. that's all i really want. i just want to know that i matter to someone else. that the love and affection that i give is returned.  

i don't want to be appreciated once a year. i want to be loved everyday, all day for the rest of my life. so please keep your silly hallmark kissing bears, your heart shaped soaps, the box of godiva's, the sappy cards and the crotchless underwear.....i take that back, you can continue gifting the skivvies and the chocolates but everything else goes.

so tell me i'm the woman that rocks your world. that's all i ask.