my cup runneth over

my cup runneth over
Current mood:  content

in the words of ricky bobby.....thank you dear sweet little baby jesus! except that i'm not saying a blessing over a lovely meal. instead i'm incredibly thankful for the end of this fucking crazy ass thanksgiving. nice way to talk about a time that centers around being "thankful" right? personally, i'm thankful it's over.

i overextended myself and cooked until i didn't enjoy it anymore. that in and of itself is such a shame since i do love to cook and even played around with the idea of being a chef when i was younger. yeah well, the last few days of cooking in my 1944 barely big enough for one asshole kitchen wiped those dreams far out of my head. i attended a preschool event, an elementary school event, a girlfriends night out event and got little sleep over the last 7 days.

i attended not one turkey day but two. oh yeah, because everyone should have to eat thanksgiving dinner with two families on two days. wednesday night was spent with mark's sister and her family. the turkey is always dry and the rest of the food is just cafeteria style and not up my alley. they are nice people and all but are catholic conservatives who consider board games to be the evenings' risque entertainment. so i just kept my mouth shut and tried not the make too much eye contact. worked out pretty well but i was still ready to go home as soon as i had arrived. can you say uncomfortable?

then last night i had to deal with my insane family members, most of whom need massive amounts of alcohol to be considered tolerable at such events. mom called dad a royal asshole and bitched about well, everything. dad just got shitfaced, which explains the asshole comment. my aunt and uncle continued to dictate the political conversation with their right wing extremist views. my brother decided that thanksgiving dinner, surrounded by not just family but also my parents friends, would be a good time to talk about the kkk, the american confederacy and the fact that he knows everything about everything! all of this might be well and good in other circles but at family dinner, on thanksgiving, oh yeah. they all opened up a big ole ball of crazy last night. crazy fuckers!!!

so i sat there, next to my husband, playing the part of a happy family so my extended family and friends wouldn't ask questions. i'm not ready to answer anyone just yet, thank you very much. granted, i was faking it and wanted to snap my fingers and be somewhere else half of the time. some people could say i was being the crazy person.  but i still felt incredibly sane. sane for the first time in a very, very long time. i felt like the only clearly thinking person in a group of dis-functional, hypocritical, denial laden screwballs that i call my family.

this all may sound like i'm not thankful at all. that i'm some selfish little bitch. that may be the case. hell, half of the people in this country don't have nearly as much as i do on my plate, both figuratively and literally. and i am thankful for all of the "things" that are in my life, that i'm privileged to experience. i sometimes take them for granted but i am never ungrateful. my cup truly does "runneth over".

but this year i'm thankful for the clarity. i'm thankful that i finally seem to be making my own decisions. i'm thankful that my kids are a super cool part of my life. i'm thankful that i'm able to not only decipher what i want and don't want but i'm also willing to ask for such. i'm thankful to love and be loved by so many people. i'm thankful for my crazy ass family.

and i'm incredibly thankful right here, right now. for this hot cuppa, two cute, cuddly kids and a beautiful friday after thanksgiving.