october 6

October 6, 2009 - Tuesday 

my crazy bitches i have many an acquaintance.  you could say i don't know a stranger....just like my dad. i know someone in every corner of this town. but close friendships are rare for so many people. even more of an enigma are long lasting, intimate relationships. part of the human experience is movement, forward, back, wherever it takes you. often times you leave one relationship behind for a new endeavor. i've done it. been friends with someone, shared openly with them and then it's as if someone turns off the lights and you no longer feel that closeness and you move on. it's a natural progression. when i was 15 i started a new school. i had been a product of private education until that time and was making the progression to public school. on the way there, i met a girl who was everything i wasn't. she was beautiful, and not in a normal teenage way. she was stunning. beautiful long hair, the most perfect, symetrical face i've ever seen, a bubbly personality. she exuded sex appeal. i was jealous and wanted some of what she had. but i was at the other end of the spectrum. not unattractive but certainly not a head turner. i wore no makeup, very natural/granola in my appearance, baggy clothes that hid my body. i was really just another strawberry blonde kid with some freckles and a fairly good personality. i got by, i was endearing but i was a far cry from this attention grabbing sexy blond who would later become my best friend. we were the most unlikely of partners in crime. but there we were. connected. fast forward to today. i'll be 37 on thursday and will be celebrating tomorrow night with my best friend and two other girlfriends i have known for 20 years. and we are all still just as close, as intimate with each other, as we were at 17. all 4 of us have been there for each other, for life changing events. marriage, divorce, marriage again, miscarriages, abortions, babies, illness, defeat and triumph over demons. and although all 3 of these incredible woman mean so much to me, she's still the one person i call when i have no where left to turn. she's the person to whom i can say anything. there is no judgment, no expectation of what i should do. she's the person that i love so much it hurts sometimes. when i was younger, i thought i might be attracted to her in a sexual way. well, she is irresistibly beautiful but i like dick far too much so that wouldn't work. but i really do feel just that attached to her. i'm thankful for her, for them. all 3 of them. they are a lifeline for me and tomorrow i fully intend to drink too much, talk too much, let them in on this affair that i've been having, the joy that it brings me and let my hair down. because i know i'm safe. because i know that no matter what, they support me. and that is what will make another year so special. knowing that i'm fortunate enough to have these crazy bitches in my life to share in this journey with me. me and nik summer 92........