september 1

September 1, 2009 - Tuesday 

this isn't fun anymore i'm no longer having fun. no fun allowed. a no fun zone. no fucking fun at all. i'm miserable today. i'm filled with hope but at the same time i'm mourning. i hate mourning. i just want to get angry and break shit instead. anything really. just break it. tear it to pieces, set in ablaze and then walk away. but i know it wouldn't help. might feel good but there would still be more underneath. more to break. more to be broken in me. didn't think it was possible to feel this alone, ever. it's just no fun. fuck.....