november 2

November 2, 2009 - Monday 

ball bustin' Current mood:  bitchy i'm pissed. doesn't happen often but today i'm just being a serious hot head. i am annoyed, frustrated, angry, rotten, sad, disenchanted and altogether fucking pissed! i never cease to be amazed at the brazen acts that some people find acceptable. i won't go into detail. it isn't worth mine or your time. but i don't ask much from people in my life. i don't expect much. however, there are certainly a few things that i will not tolerate. shall we? oh, i think we shall..... i will NOT tolerate dishonest, disloyal, evasive, emotionless, uncommunicative, passive aggressive pricks! there. that about covers it but i'm sure there are other things that i won't tolerate. just can't think of anything else at the moment. oh i know. people who chew with their mouths open or talk with food in their mouth. and i demand please and thank you. there. i can move on. so essentially i ask that people i love, value as friends will continue to communicate with me, don't hide things from me and open themselves. good or bad, i want to hear it. i have to hear it. i'm owed that much. granted, i realize i am an entirely different animal. i am willing, often too willing, to open myself to people, trusting and some may say naive. however, i think of it as an experience. if you don't open yourself up and be honest and upfront initially, well then, you probably won't be living your life. make sense? probably not but to me i have to be "present" in my life to be able to learn from it. otherwise, it's just a collasal fucking waste of time. i've wasted enough time already. because of it i have gotten hurt and will continue to get hurt but i would rather feel that pain than feel nothing at all. in the spirit of my recent house cleaning of life, i will not put up with this bullshit anymore. i'm done with it. and instead of doing my usual turn the other cheek temperament, of which i'm generally a big believer, i'm in an incredibly aggressive, protective mood. i don't like to burn bridges or make false assumptions. i take my time and cool off before busting some serious balls. not today. i'm tired of being a fucking doormat. it's my own fault and there isn't a single person who can stand up for me but yours truly. so guess what? i'm opening up that big ole can of whoop ass, gonna fuck somebody up and i don't give a shit. i seriously don't give a shit if my nearest and dearest read this, think i'm being an insane bitch and are offended by my aggressive nature today. because you know what....i am aggressive today, i am a bit of a psycho bitch today and god dammit, mother fuckers, i'm ready for the fight. **this is all figurative by the way and i'm not a physically violent person. i detest the very idea of such a thing** All My Life Foo Fighters | MySpace Music Videos